Ugly Truth of Life

So I had a conversation with a friend yesterday about when your younger you believe in the fairy tale of marriage. Who does not want to be Cinderella who finds her Prince Charming, or Snow White who is awaken by True loves kiss. Maybe that's the problem? Maybe as a child I watched too many Disney movies where in every ending the princess ends up with the prince even after the outside world tries to interfere, they always come out winning in the end! 

I believed in happily ever after and true love as a child and then the movies in my teen helped reinforce this theory... Julia Roberts ends up with Richard Gere in Pretty woman, oh and how about Can't Buy me Love, it seems like the girl always finds her ONE...

So the statement my friend made yesterday was " I believed there was that one and only someone for everyone." I don't believe that anymore I thought I had found him and then it all fell apart, not for the lack of trying on her part but she was the only one willing to fight when the happily ever after came crashing down... 

So why is it that as children we are led to believe that life is a fairy tale? That when we find our Prince Charming we will live Happily Ever After? 

I can now say I no longer believe in this fair tale! Yes I will admit some people find it and live it but the percentage of that actually happening are slim to none in my opinion... 

The ugly truth about life is you may find your Prince Charming and you may actually live happily ever after but if you do, it will be because of the hard work and dedication you put into making it happen! 

It will not be a fairly tale, you will have problems and things will go wrong, you will fight about, Money, sex & time, because you will never have enough of any of it. So yes you might make it to happily ever after with your Prince Charming but it will indeed never be a fairly tale! 

Some of us will think we find our Prince Charming to discover he was only Charming to win us over and then treated us like one of the ugly step sisters when indeed the glass slipper perfectly fit. He however discovered  a new princess. That you Snow White after taking care of your 7 dwarfs (kids) all day go to sleep to never be woken up by True Loves Kiss... That Many can and do buy LOVE right off the Internet, and lets face it ladies if our profession has something to do with working the street corner we are never going to end up with Richard Gere. 

So again I ask why is it we are lead to believe in this fairy tale and why is it that I am judged for letting my children realize that there are UGLY truths in life, should I let them believe this fairy tale so that Prince Charming can come along and rip their heart out? Is it wrong that I prepare them for the bad and don't allow them to live in a bubble and discover it on there own? 

I do hope they are the slim percent that this actually happens for? I would want nothing more for all of them.

But the reality is I am the middle child of 5 girls and have watched as 2 of my sisters fairy tales ended in Divorce, I have had struggles in my own marriage and almost ended up the same. So 2.5 of us did not end up with that fairly tale that we thought was our Prince Charming! 

So yes the ugly truth of life is that fairy tale, Prince Charming, happily ever after is BULLSHIT! 

                                    

Robbed!!!

I was ROBBED... By what I consider the most awful thing ever... This thing has no compassion it takes takes takes and ruins life's and leave emptiness. Yes what was taken can not be fixed or replaced. This thing did not think of how I would feel after it took from me. It did not even stop to consider what I would be losing, or how important it was to me. Plain and simple it just did not care. 

Like many other I was ROBBER by CANCER... I wish I could say I was not one of the many who is affected by cancer! :( sadly the impact that had on my life changed it forever. 

May 2001 I had just discovered I was expecting my 2nd child after trying for almost a year. The excitement of that news was short lived because the news we received shortly after was that my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer. We were very optimistic in the beginning, radiation and chemo therapy started shortly after diagnosis. I tried to spend all the time I could at my parents house. Grateful that I lived close enough to do so. Fighting my dad for the bathroom him being sick with chemo and me morning sickness... Lucky for me mine would subside, he was not as lucky. He would say this chemo is killing everything good and bad in my body. He was hooked up to a stomach port for feeding because nothing tasted good due to the radiation he said everything tasted like metal and could care less if he ate. So port went into his stomach that we could hook to a machine to feed him a can that would give him nourishment. He would get so annoyed because a soda can size would take 2 hours to pump in. While I was growing my dad was shrinking and eventually lost all his hair. 

January 2002 we were blessed with our 2nd daughter, looking back at all the photos I am saddened because my dad refused to be photographed because he did not want us to remember him looking like a cancer patient. So thank you Cancer for stealing that moment from me... 

Treatment continued but my dad seemed to get worse and worse by May (1 year after diagnosis) he was to the point of not being able to walk anymore and was In so much pain. My husband job required Him to leave for training for 12 weeks only coming home on weekends. Leaving me with 2 small children and a dad who was now no longer battling cancer but dying from it. 

After a new scan it was discovered that the cancer in the esophagus was no longer present but the cancer had spread to his bones. It was now everywhere. The could continues a more aggressive chemo but this would not save his life at this point nothing would. This chemo would only allow him more time. 

My dad chose to not do anymore treatments he chose quality over quantity of time.  

So what exactly did cancer rob from me you ask?  That awful no good disease referred to as CANCER took my dad at age 47, the memories that could have, would have, and should have been made between father and daughter, and grandpa and grandkids. Even if he would not allow us to take pictures of him during his cancer treatment and final days you can never erase from your memory what cancer does to the body, he may have saved that image for future generations but for those of us that watched that battle from May 2001-August 2002 I know exactly what cancer did to him. It humbled him took away his dignity, his hair, his body deteriorated from a 6'4 260 lb. man to maybe 110 lbs skin hanging from bone and muscle completely void from the big strong body that once existed. We sat back helpless and watch the color and life drain from him. Cancer left a void and sadness that can never be replaced. 

I HATE you cancer and will never forgive you for what you ROBBED from me!!!