The topic of discussion this session was choices. Something I struggle with making them, I said I am sick to death of choices do mine even matter? Decisions I felt I didn't want to make or that I was forced to make. Two years of choices I felt were taken from me. Choices at this stage in life should have been more comfortable or made together, and I had to make them alone.
I then had to make a list of all the choices I felt were taken from me and how I felt about choices. Lucky for you, it took place on the notes of my phone, so I can now tell you all about it.
Do the choices we make matter?
Do they affect others?
Sometimes we are used as instruments in the Lord's hand, and I have to believe this is the reason for my writing. This writing is a choice, but I also know its a gift, a calling.
Think about the part that you play in other's lives.
Why do the choices we make matter?
There is a fantastic power in being able to make choices in life. That choice to find that person we are supposed to be.
I sometimes think I am the product of someone else's choices. The choices that are made every day that affects the lives of others.
I have known this for a long time that choices have consequences, and we always have the choice, but we don't get to chooses the consequence of the choice.
Cheating is a choice I felt I didn't get a say in, but I had to live the consequences.
Yes, cheating is a choice, just like love is. I chose to love for time and all eternity, and I had no intention of that not being mine forever.
The choice to live the promise and covenants the ones we had made. That choice to be open and honest no matter how difficult and for 25 years I did that. I wasn't looking for other options as I knew what I wanted, and this was it. Moral agency is the key to Heavenly Father's great plan of happiness.
I read this the other day, and I added it to my notes.
"Character is what you are in the dark."
I felt my options and expectations were just tossed aside for that choice to lie and cheat. The enticement of the affair, the sneaking, and breaking all the boundaries we had in place, justifying for the bad choices being made.
My choice on the consequences of that choice to cheat I wouldn't have chosen any of them.
I was then told that infidelity and or cheating aren't that common, and it's not normal. That it is an issue in that person that chooses to cheat, it may fix the problem short term, but its just a shallow, short term fix. I said, can I write this down so I can remind myself of this every time I start asking why wasn't I enough.
I was told to remember that if cheating was normal or oaky, that there would be no need for all the secrets of any lying. It's the secrecy that makes the affair so sexually attractive. Secrecy has no place in a loving long term committed relationship. That cheating and lying mean that the person has little to no respect for you—so very little that they are, in fact, okay with lying to your face when confronted.
How he treated you is a reflection on him. That you don't treat others the ones, you proclaim to love in one breath and lie to in another. It is disrespectful and degrading. It says all you need to know about the character.
I was then asked to say what I felt. I said one day, I hope that the sexual release was worth his integrity, honor, reputation. That I wish that I had a choice in that decision to cheat. Because our choices so affect others and the consequences of that choice have changed how I view myself, others, and love. I can't find that Badass my friend talked about, I can't find her or force her back. The pain the hurt and trying to sugar coat thing so that people won't view me as nuts. I am left with the choice to heal from the consequences of that choice to be unfaithful. The effects I would do anything not to feel the pain of it. Instead, I choose to feel every emotion as they come. I choose to live in the truth. Its choices I make every day the small little one the one I also know that will affect others. I have to share this that was sent to me this morning.
John: 14:27
Peace I leave with you,
Peace I give unto you:
not as the world giveth,
give I unto you.
Let not your heart be troubled,
neither let it be afraid.
Yes, cheating is a choice, just like love is. I chose to love for time and all eternity, and I had no intention of that not being mine forever.
The choice to live the promise and covenants the ones we had made. That choice to be open and honest no matter how difficult and for 25 years I did that. I wasn't looking for other options as I knew what I wanted, and this was it. Moral agency is the key to Heavenly Father's great plan of happiness.
I read this the other day, and I added it to my notes.
"Character is what you are in the dark."
I felt my options and expectations were just tossed aside for that choice to lie and cheat. The enticement of the affair, the sneaking, and breaking all the boundaries we had in place, justifying for the bad choices being made.
My choice on the consequences of that choice to cheat I wouldn't have chosen any of them.
I was then told that infidelity and or cheating aren't that common, and it's not normal. That it is an issue in that person that chooses to cheat, it may fix the problem short term, but its just a shallow, short term fix. I said, can I write this down so I can remind myself of this every time I start asking why wasn't I enough.
I was told to remember that if cheating was normal or oaky, that there would be no need for all the secrets of any lying. It's the secrecy that makes the affair so sexually attractive. Secrecy has no place in a loving long term committed relationship. That cheating and lying mean that the person has little to no respect for you—so very little that they are, in fact, okay with lying to your face when confronted.
How he treated you is a reflection on him. That you don't treat others the ones, you proclaim to love in one breath and lie to in another. It is disrespectful and degrading. It says all you need to know about the character.
I was then asked to say what I felt. I said one day, I hope that the sexual release was worth his integrity, honor, reputation. That I wish that I had a choice in that decision to cheat. Because our choices so affect others and the consequences of that choice have changed how I view myself, others, and love. I can't find that Badass my friend talked about, I can't find her or force her back. The pain the hurt and trying to sugar coat thing so that people won't view me as nuts. I am left with the choice to heal from the consequences of that choice to be unfaithful. The effects I would do anything not to feel the pain of it. Instead, I choose to feel every emotion as they come. I choose to live in the truth. Its choices I make every day the small little one the one I also know that will affect others. I have to share this that was sent to me this morning.
John: 14:27
Peace I leave with you,
Peace I give unto you:
not as the world giveth,
give I unto you.
Let not your heart be troubled,
neither let it be afraid.
No comments:
Post a Comment