Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Enough

Admit it we have all thought it from time to time the we are never enough! I think often the world would have us believe we will never be enough.
Think about it technology has created this false sense of perfection...
I can list many examples for starters there is one reason I don't have a Pinterest... Because plain and simple it makes me feel like I am not good enough, funny enough, crafty enough, clean enough, I cant and won't cook enough or exercise enough because plain and simple I am not  pintresting enough to have Pinterest. I would never do half of any of that stuff I would pin for later and I would again feel like I am not enough!!! 
Lets take face book for example, how easy Is it to create a false life on that thing... literally you can create anyone you want to be a whole other person and screw with peoples lives...yep had this happen but that could be a whole other post with the nonsense this individual did, best told another time!  But honestly Think about it technology has created this! This is why I chose to have a 2nd blog so that I could have my perfect blog, perfect kids, perfect life(not) where nothing ever goes wrong and let's be honest no life is perfect and I refuse to fake that for even one second! I keep my other blog private because I post pictures of my family that I don't want to share with the world but this blog allows me to talk about the world and all its icky potential...
So yes technology has helped my never enough feelings surface...
My list of things I will never be enough of! 
Never a good enough mom.
Never skinny enough.
Never pretty enough. 
Never smart enough( especially when I have to pass this big exam for work) 
I never have enough time
Never make enough money to do what I want... 
I will never have a clean enough house ( yep cus I am a clean freak) 
I will never be a good enough friend.
Never a good enough wife. 
Never a good enough sister! 

But the truth the world does not want you to know is neither does anybody else... Everyone can find something they are never enough of, but we don't have to be as long as we are trying enough!
AND I AM ENOUGH! 


Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Seeking

Storm/Sunshine

So I stumbled apron this quote... "Stop seeking out the stoms of life and enjoy more fully the sunshine" for those who know me well know that I am kinda a glass half empty person... I have been doing a lot of work on this and I know that I have a long way to go to realize my glass is full a lot of the times but I focus on the times when it half empty or empty... So yes I notice more the storm cloud over my head more then the sunshine... I love the sun it makes me jump for joy... Rain is nice when I am sleeping but when I am awake I want the sun out shining... Why is it that I noticed more the days of gloom the I do the days of sunshine... Surly there is more sunshine days then there are rain days right? Yes I believe there is but for some reason I seem to focus more on the gloomy days and all I want to do is sit in my house curled on a blanket... Can't I just enjoy the rainy days too? So the next time there is rain I will find something good about the storm:) who am I kidding its been storming for days and all I see is gloom.  I got caught in the rain last night on a run around the lake... I kinda actually enjoyed it but only because it was a drizzle and not a hard rain... But you know what I am enjoying about this storm? That today during my lunch break the sun is shining on me... There are storm clouds all around but for that peaceful hour in my car the sun was shining... So I guess I do seek the sunshine and fully enjoy it... Indeed it, crave, it want it. But not just the sunshine but the warmth!!!