CRAZY GIRL

April 18, 2011 our 14th wedding anniversary I would spend alone, wondering why work was so much more important than me.

I brushed it off because he had left a rose and a note in my car that day at work with the instructions to listen to this song. 

https://g.co/kgs/CTZDmi

For You that don’t want to listen here is the lyrics.

Baby why you wanna cry?
You really oughta know that I
Just have to walk away sometimes
We're gonna do what lovers do
We're gonna have a fight or two
But I ain't ever changin' my mind

Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
And I wouldn't dream of goin' nowhere
Silly woman, come here, let me hold you
Have I told you lately?
I love you like crazy, girl

Wouldn't miss a single day
I'd probably just fade away
Without you, I'd lose my mind
Before you ever came along
I was living life all wrong

Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
And I wouldn't dream of goin' nowhere
Silly woman, come here, let me hold you
Have I told you lately?
I love you like crazy, girl

Crazy girl
Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
And I wouldn't dream of goin' nowhere
Silly woman, come here, let me hold you
Have I told you lately,
I love you like

Crazy, girl, don't you know that I love you?
And I wouldn't dream of goin' nowhere
Silly woman, come here, let me hold you
Have I told you lately?
I love you like crazy, girl

Like crazy
Crazy girl
Like crazy
Crazy girl
Like crazy

I had been telling him I though he was working too much pulling away and I was worried about it. 

I had been looking forward to the cruise we had booked but as the days started getting closer he was pulling further and further away. Finally the day I had been waiting for, a week alone with my husband.  That first day we laid in a hammock on the ship and had a long talk, he promised things would change. I had the best time with him and our friends and felt it was just what we had needed to find balance.   Hopeful that when we returned home he would be true to his words. I had also planned a surprise birthday party for him for a few days  after we would returned and all was great for a week. Then things went right back to the silent treatment, work pulling him away time and time again. Me worrying, then he became cold and distant, again leaving me wondering if it was just me?  Was I actually over reacting like he said? Did I just need to chill out? “You need to stop” is what he would say anytime I would bring up my feelings about it.

 Stop what? 

Wondering what was going on and why I was being treated like I didn’t exsist.

Was I actually just crazy? 

I had convinced myself I actually was, that something was wrong with me, trying to find why I was feeling this way, what was my intuition telling me?   

I AM CRAZY!